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- I wanna breakdown and cry!! -
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Thursday, July 20, 2006
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I am totally pissed, feeling pressured and fearful now..
Pissed with the usual reason.. I am not allowed to do the things that I wanted to do.. Too afraid to go against her since I'm still under her custody.. but hell, the only thing I do in this freakin place is to tend to them..
I wanna go back home.. In times like this, I miss talkin to my emotional support.. I wanted to cry.. It's just hard that I cannot share this with anybody (to where I am).. No one would want to listen.. I wanted to explode.. I want to go home..
Pressured.. I feel like I am not a good partner.. since I am not allowed to go places without my parent's approval, I am having a hard time finding ways to go to Augusta...
I just can't tell them "hey ma, I'm goin somewhere".. There's always a "who, what, where, when, and why "questions and if she doesn't approve, forget about going..
He said he understood.. I just hope he really does understand my situation..
Fearful.. Jay's goin back to his hometown for a week vacation.. I wanted to go yet there is the usual reason why I can't.. Why am i afraid? cause by the time he comes back, I think we'll be having another problem.. I can sense it now.. Him having the time of his life again and that when he flies back he'll be depress again and that depression includes me..
Another thing, he might find somebody new.. there you go.. I typed it.. yeah, that's really the main point here.. from the previous talks we had, well I can say that he is prone to looking for a new one.. that scares me but yeah, I'm readyin myself..
FAWK! really!!!!
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