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- so fawked up! -
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Sunday, August 27, 2006
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I'm crying.. why? I'm not really sure...
O kasi cguro masaya nanaman ako kahapon.. Friday and Saturday was one of the my unforgettable moments.. Spent another weekend with Jay.. As usual, I had fun.. so much fun that it scares me now.
Mahal na mahal ko na siya pero I have to hold back kasi alam ko naman kung hanggang saan lang ako sa buhay nya. Yun ang kinatatakot ko na I can't even tell him that kasi I may sound a bit too much nanaman (he hates drama).. Siguro nageexpect nanaman ako e.. kakainis na... here I am again.. putangina talaga!
Ano ba toh?!!!!!!! tigil ko na kaya.. pinahihirapan ko lang sarili ko e.. He's been ok naman all this time.. I give him credits in making me feel happy.. It's just that whenever future is the subject, I'm not part of his.. so slowly, I am taking him off mine.. pero sakit e.. mahal na mahal ko na talaga..
hirap! pootah.. sya ata karma ko e.. lagi ko naman sinasabi sa sarili ko na kaya ko yan pero hinde e..
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- yadayadayadayada -
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Thursday, August 24, 2006
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been listening to "Dahil Ikaw" by True Faith for the 18th continuous time.. I love it!
how I miss hearing a love song and dedicating it to someone special in my life. You get me? I mean when you hear any song, it'll always remind you of someone but in this case.. it's blank.. grr....
so yeah, what made me decide to write an entry at this time of the day.. oh yeah, the memory of my old blog. If i hadn't deleted it.. tsk! I'm trying to recall all the events that had happened to me in the past.. Most of my entries there were about being so in love and being happy and contented. I miss that feeling!
and yeah.. I told you that I'm missing you, you logged off 6 minutes after without any reply.. good job!
singing
" Dahil ikaw ang sigaw ng puso ko
Ikaw ang nasa isip ko
Ang nais ko ay malaman mo
Na ikaw ang tanging pangarap ng buhay
Pag-ibig ko sa iyo'y bibigay
Ang nais ko ay malaman mo...
Na mahal kita..."
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- wala lng -
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Wednesday, August 23, 2006
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Alright.. it's been pretty awesome week so far.. I got a job already (just sucks that I have to drive an hour just to get there).. I got a pending job interview for tomorrow..
Last Monday, I was hella tired! I was on field training doing sales and my feet were so sore that time.. I wore heels and to think it was a continuous walk from 12 noon till 6:30 pm.. dammit! but yeah, I enjoyed doin it..
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I just received my diploma.. shoot! Looks like it was made from a cartolina.. stupid UST! I worked hard for that and I paid for it.. how come it looks like some piece of junk?!?!?!??!
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hmmmm.. what else.. mom's bday tom.. we're gonna treat her out..
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- And now, where should I put myself? -
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Sunday, August 20, 2006
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Ok, its been 2 days of pure bliss.. You have made this weekend, incredibly memorable.. Days Inn, Descent, Step Up, Econo Lodge, Nude, Shuttlecock, Applebees, and ILY are the main keywords for the day.
Since that talk we had about me realizing things and the thinking stage, I have seen a huge improvement on your side and I am happy with what I am seeing right now. Now, I can feel something intimate and serious going on.
But then again, that last statement you gave me just leaves me thinking, so yeah I thought "this is just it" but what you are showing right now is the other way around. Not that I am complaining, I just don't know what to believe anymore. To love you more or to start accepting that we can never be together? shed me some light!
Anyhow, thanks for the wonderful friday and saturday.. Ill see u again later.. I just hope I can sneak out tonight.. hehe..
ILY
(just dont mind the freakin date on the pic.. my cam's retarded.. just like my subject.. :p)
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- a must read! -
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Tuesday, August 15, 2006
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"
22o lang keren..oo mahal kita..sino ka ba sa buhay ko...girl friend ko...diba..what more do you want?..gaano kita kamahal..paano ba kasi ma measure yan ha??..isn't it enough that i've been loyal 2 you this past 3 months....c'mon now...damn...we've only been dating 3 months...we still getting to know each other...to tell you the truth ewan ko...i'm still enjoying my life...i'm not intending to make plan anytime soon about marriage...kids...why do you insist on asking me this...ano ka ba sakin meron ba tayo future...io0no beb..only time will tell..wala pa ako sa stage na pina plano lahat ang buhay..wala pa ako dun alam mo yun...i'm still young and i want to be spontaneous...i just want to enjoy life as it happens....bakit tayo pa...because i enjoy your company..isn't that good enough reason??? Yes i did want to leave you..why is that..because theres alot of uncertainties in our relationship alam mo yun..hell i don't even know where i'm going after i'm done with schooling here in augusta...sa 22o lang...i wasn't even planing to enter a relationship while i'm in the Army..but here I am with you....if you don't want to be in a relationship full of uncertainties and hopefull thinking....di naman kita pinipilit mag stay...
"
I REST MY CASE!
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- -
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Saturday, August 12, 2006
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JER JER
sa tuwing kailangan ko ng kausap, nandyan ka lagi..
sa tuwing nalulungkot ako at kailangan ko ng masasabihan, isang text lang, nariyan ka agad..
sa tuwing may problema ako, ikaw lang ang dumadamay sa akin...
sa tuwing galit ako, ikaw lang ang nagpapakalma sa akin..
sa tuwing masaya ako, ikaw lang ang nakikihati sa kaligayahan ko..
salamat bro sa lahat..
you have no idea how much i appreciate all ur efforts.. though we're oceans apart, we're still intact like that (with a snap.. hahaha..)
kudos for all the things we've been through..
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sabi ko sa sarili ko dati, mamahalin kita ng lubos..
sabi ko, ill be the best gf there is..
sabi ko, susuportahan kita all the way..
sabi ko, iintindihin ko lahat ng shortcomings mo..
sabi ko, di ako we'll do everything ur way..
sa ngayon.. alam mo un.. feeling ko nabawasan na ung love na nafefeel ko.. di ko rin alam bakit e.. siguro its how u treat me.. taken forgranted lagi.. though yeah.. kita ko naman efforts mo e.. pero.. ewan..
natuto na rin cguro ako ng self respect.. galing galing..
*konting push pa
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- before ako matulog -
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Wednesday, August 09, 2006
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Ngayon ko lang naisip at narealize...
dami pa lang nagmamahal sa akin noh.. so kung mawalan man ng isa, ayos lang.. i still got reasons not to whine.. yeah yeah.. i got it now!
marami pala dyan ang sensitive enough to understand me.. galing!
di lang pala ako ang iyakin, di lang ako ang may problemang malupit.. di lang pala ako ang taong nagmamahal at the same time nasasaktan din..
martyr daw ang dapat na term sa akin..
di ko kailangang iyakan ang isang taong di naman worth it..
di ko kailangan magpakasakit at magtyaga kung hindi naman ako masaya..
di ko kailangan magpaapekto sa mga pangdodown mo.. i know im better than what u think!
di ko rin kailangan makiride sa mga pangiinsulto mo, oo minsan kasi nakakasakit ka na e!
di ko na kailangan maghintay pa na magbago ka cguro.. im being hopeless na..
marami pa lang iba dyan who shares the same dream as me..
di pa pala pathetic tawag sa akin..
oo maganda ako.. angal ka?! di kakapalan ng mukha yan.. marami ng nagsabi!
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- bakasyon -
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Tuesday, August 08, 2006
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oh word! this has been long delayed.. but yeah, ill just tell the story on how my vacation went..
Anyhow, masaya ung naging vacation namin ni jay.. it was awesome.. sobra! as in his family treated like im one of em.. very hospitable and very warm talaga..
When i got there, i was really nervous that his family won't like me.. but when I saw his mom, the first thing she did was hug me and that made me feel at ease..
Everybody welcomed me with open arms.. saya!
The next day (Sunday), we went to Holy Hill in Wisconsin.. it rained very hard but when we got there, it stopped..
We heard mass..The place is very solemn..
Weekdays, we just stayed at their house and once in a while we go out to go to the mall (oh yeah!, i love their malls there!! and im officially broke now).. I get to drink my mochafrap again, my taro milk tea, eat at taco bell, go shopping till i drop, fixed jay's desktop (though according to him i didnt help at all), chilled with his friends, went clubbin, helped josie move to her new apartment, learned how to make cassava cake (jennie's recipe), checked out kuya joel's new house, went to meet tito soc and tita belen (which lasted for like 5 minutes only to think goin there took us 30 minutes).. karaoke..
But the highlight of that vacation is spending it with him.. He was a totally different person when we got there, not the Jay that I used to know.. he was very sweet, caring, malambing, makwento, palatawa, mapangasar (in a sweet way).. basta... iba talaga! sarap ng feeling grabe!
pero since we're back here sa lugar namin.. back to normal na rin sya..
un lang.. sarap sanang mag elaborate pa.. but due to certain issues e wag na lang.. nasira na rin momentum ko e bec of what happened right after we came back..
nandito pala ung pics
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Minsan sabi ko na lang sa sarili, konting tiis pa.. pero sana dont push me to my limit.. ok naman akong kaibigan, mapagmahal naman akong girlfriend.. wag lang pupunuin dahil di naman ganun kahaba pasensya ko.. un lang..
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May namimiss akong tao.. kamusta na kaya sya?!
sana lang ur doin good.. and i hope you're happy..
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Sunday, August 06, 2006
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sana hindi mo na lang pinakilala kung sino ka talaga..
sana hindi mo na lang ako pinasaya ng lubos..
sana hindi mo na lang ako pinaasa..
sabi ko na nga ba may katumbas lahat ito eh.. ang sakit sakit naman ng kapalit..
gusto kong magalit sa iyo.. pero hindi ko kaya..
mahal kita upto this point.. but yeah, in due time ill be over this feeling..
sana maging successful ka sa lahat ng pangarap mo..
just wish u the best..
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